Sort of trying hard, sort of giving up

A close friend of mine asked me this one simple question that I thought I had the answer to it. Well, guess what? I don’t. “So then, what do you wanna do with your life?” was the question that hit me hard. How the hell should I know? I swear to god, it got me thinking and I freaked out (kinda) when I couldn’t figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I’m 22, I suppose I’ll have the answer when I’m at least 30.

People say to always follow your passions, do what you love doing or makes you happy. In most cases, passions don’t pay the bills. You can’t get the best of both worlds. Setting up your priorities is always the hardest to do. Do you want to be having money or do you want to be happy? Or do you want both? Honest to god, I just want to be happy. But then again, what makes me happy?

I have no fucking clue.

It’s so frustrating knowing you have zero motivation to turn your life around. It’s not that I don’t want to, trust me, there’s nothing more I want to do than making it my utmost priority. But it’s hard to pull off when you’re stuck doing things that you hate. I’m in my final year of law school and am trying really hard to get it done and over with, but it’s never easy because it’s not something I love doing and fact is, I’ve been doing this for 3 years. I don’t know where this life would lead me. I don’t know if I’ll ever be happy. I should be grateful, I know. But also, I wish someone would understand. 


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